it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
