We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
