Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
