Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
