I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
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