Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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