Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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