I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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