i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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