Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
