I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Randomize
