i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
