so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Randomize
