she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
