Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
