Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
