Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
40s are totally the cure
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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