for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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