considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
