how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
