Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
