i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
