she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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