So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
im about as happy as oj after his trial
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
