so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
