If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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