Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
