just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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