i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
