Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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