She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
But break dance skills will only take you so far
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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