Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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