He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize