i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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