Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
