The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
