i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
