i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
