I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
But theres a keg here and me gusta
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize