We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
