and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Randomize
