It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Randomize
