I think im going to throw up on grandma
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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