Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
