I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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