I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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