either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
