Please don't use social media to get back at me.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize