is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Randomize
