Please don't use social media to get back at me.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
