I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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