Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
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