I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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