no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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