I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
