Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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