Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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