The maid of honor just puked.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
