Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
