Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
