he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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