Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
