You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
That was an excessively violent trivia night
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize