That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
